I'm moving..

I'm moving my blog entries to multiply. I'm not deleting this one because it's easier than copying and pasting my previous and archived entries to the other one. I'll be posting some of my earlier entries on multiply though, so there..
Not that anybody actually cares.

Addiction

God, you frustrate me
I don't know what I want from you
But I can never get enough
I wish...
I wish...
But then it doesn't matter to you now, does it?
Because you don't know me
You don't see me
You have no idea what I'm going through
Because I don’t matter
To you
I am no one…

Of Pain and An Invitation

I can't breathe. I can't even see.
I just wish I could keep this up, without having to pretend that I don't care.
When I can't even see straight without you.
Does it matter that I can't speak when you leave me? I feel spared when you look at me.
I don't wish this to be the way I spend my life. Watching you walk away, over and over, killing me.
When you don't even see me.
The evils that I know I unleash when I don't feel you there, I cannot begin to describe.
I never wanted this. I never wished for this. You have created this in me. Without knowing it, you turned me into what I fear.
Helpless, hopeless, desperate.
Nothing anybody wishes to be.

Sa Mga Nakalimot

Salamat..

Nalaman ko kung ano ako sa buhay niyo

Isang wala..

Isang alalaala na nilipad ng hangin ng kahapon

Na hinahamak ng inyong pagngiti at inyong kaligayahan

Salamat..

Dahil hindi ako nagtagal kasama niyo..

Sira Trip

Kamusta naman sa sira trip..
Ano naman ang sirain ang sariling kaligayahan..
hahahaha..
Para kong tanga..
Malisyosa pa naman ako..
Sana..
Mali ako..
At sana ako nga talaga..

losing myself

Sometimes I feel like shaking you and just asking you to say it.
That you feel nothing for me. That you never have and never will. Just so I could stop wondering that you do or whether or not they're right about you.
And at least I would be able to stop thinking and just start letting go.
I had forgotten what it feels like to be in the background. To be invisible. To be forgotten. And it was because of you. You made me feel like I was needed, remembered.
And loved.
But now that this is happening to us, I'm starting to remember what it's like.
I'm beginning to...
disappear...
again...

Crossing the line...

That was not the way I imagined I would tell him how I feel. I never even imagined that I would ever tell him. I just didn't want him to walk away hating me because I wouldn't tell him why the hell I was being the way I was. I couldn't bear that. At least, now, if he hates me for what I said, I would understand. I would rather know why, than to just hold it all inside and try not to act like that anymore.
Everything's going to change now. I know it is. Things will never be the same. I wonder if this is more painful than just having the feeling without having to do anything aside from denying it.

Di masaya..

Bawal mahulog.. Kasi walang sasalo.. Masakit.. Ayoko ng masaktan..
Kailangan ko nanaman bang umiyak at malunkot dahil hindi ko kayang magdesisyon para sa sarili ko? Ang hirap.. Masyadong mahirap..
Ayoko na. Ayoko na ng ganito.