Of Pain and An Invitation

I can't breathe. I can't even see.
I just wish I could keep this up, without having to pretend that I don't care.
When I can't even see straight without you.
Does it matter that I can't speak when you leave me? I feel spared when you look at me.
I don't wish this to be the way I spend my life. Watching you walk away, over and over, killing me.
When you don't even see me.
The evils that I know I unleash when I don't feel you there, I cannot begin to describe.
I never wanted this. I never wished for this. You have created this in me. Without knowing it, you turned me into what I fear.
Helpless, hopeless, desperate.
Nothing anybody wishes to be.